Author: JD Mills

Originally posted on August 7th, 2011

• Air travel: 4575 miles
• Boat Travel: 150 miles
• Car Travel: ~3000 miles (give or takea Walmart trip or two
• # of breweries visited: 6
• # of wineries visited: 7
• # of peanut butter sandwiches consumed: ~40
• lbs of pepperidge farm goldfish eaten: 2
• # of nights spent camping: 1 (and was 1 too many)
• # of pictures taken (after deleting the not-so-great ones: 2000

Pictures are up! Videos should be updated shortly as well. We’re checking out of our hotel, then making our way to Napa for the day – we have to kill some time before our red eye flight ;^) After our killer hike, a day to relax with wine and beautiful scenery didn’t sound half bad.

Ok, back to Yosemite. Even though we only really had a day and a half in the park, we did more than most people would try to cram in to double that time. We woke up at 5am in hopes of beating the droves of people into the park. This was a smart move. We went to Yosemite falls, then the visitor center for a hiking map and to pick a ranger’s brains about a good “tourist-free” hike for the day. He suggested the Mist Trail up past Vernal and Nevada falls, then the Panorama trail past Illoutte falls up to Glacier Point and back down the four mile trail to the Valley floor.

Altogether, it was 13 miles with over 8,000 feet in elevation gain. Holy smokes! The hike up past the falls was beautiful, albeit steep and slippery over hundreds of granite steps. We decided that climbing back down this route was NOT an option for accident-prone Audrey.

Once past the falls, the Panorama trail was much more flat and had beautiful vistas. Well worth it, until we had to descend down to Illoutte and then climb back up to Glacier point. Just when we thought we weren’t going to make it, we were pleasantly surprised by the fact that there was a snack stand at Glacier point. Pepsi and Strawberry shortcake ice cream bars were purchased and consumed ravenously at the top, with beautiful views of Half Dome. You could actually see the people climbing up the back face of it on the cables. We were offered a free pass to climb up, but with two of us, it wasn’t an option, plus it looked terrifying to me.

We were wondering why no one was really following us on the trail, and then saw a helicopter with a rescue bucket descended near Vernal Falls – apparently, they had shut the trail for an emergency situation and stopped letting people up shortly after we passed through. I wonder if another person went over the falls (there have been several so far this year in the park), despite the stern warnings about swift water and hundred foot plummets on to sharp rock. In fairness, from the top of the falls, where the water pools up before crashing far below, it actually looks somewhat calm and inviting. We knew MUCH better than to go anywhere near the water.

Back to the hike….now came the fun part. Turns out 4-mile trail is the STEEPEST trail in Yosemite. Over the course of 4 miles (aptly named), we descended over 32000 feet back down to the valley floor. Words cannot describe how much this SUCKED. Our feet and knees hurt so bad and we were slipping and sliding down the dirt and gravel because it was so steep. If it wasn’t for the fact that the rest of the hike was so rewarding, (and that I can still walk a day later) I’d qualify this as a horrible experience.

With that said, let the pictures speak for themselves. We had the trail to ourselves and saw Yosemite in a way many visitors never get a chance. Cheers!

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We made the drive up the eastern side of the Sierras (past Mt. Whitney-highest peak in the lower 48) up to Lee Vining area and Mono Lake. Mono lake is almost 1 million years old and has these spires, or “tufa” rising up out of them. Its high salinity make it home to a special kind of bug larvae that attracts a special kind of bird to the lake. It was quite an eerie scene, and we would have spent longer, but we were ready to head into Yosemite.

We entered on the eastern side of the park via Tioga Pass. The eastern part of the part if Toulumine Meadows, a sub-alpine meadow at elv. 9000 feet or so. It’s a much less crowded part of the park, and so very beautiful; imagine crystal blue streams running through meadows with wildflowers and snow-capped mountains in the background and you have the Meadows. We hiked up to Lemebert Dome for a good view of the area. My heart was racing; I forgot we were at such high elevations and that hiking would require extra effort! There are lots of domes in the park caused by a plate subduction, heating, upwelling, rapid cooling, then breaking, causing most to have one gently-rounded side and one to have a steep face.

For being the less-crazy park of the park, the Meadows were still teeming with people and it was difficult to find parking; I’m worried about the valley tomorrow. We then drove along the pass to a couple of overlooks. Before we knew it, it was 6pm and we had a decision to make; drive back to the hotel for an early night so we can have an EARLY (5am) start tomorrow, or stick around a little longer. We chose the former, given that we were behind on posts and sleep thanks to DeVa. Staying in the park is IMPOSSIBLE unless you book many, many months in advance. I found a campsite, but after reading about SERIOUS bear issues (aka they’re not afraid of people and break into cars regularly), we bagged the camping idea

On the way into town (Modesto, CA), I found a place called “Bob’s take and Bake” – they make a pizza that you put in the oven. It got fantastic reviews on Yelp.com, so I figured we’d try it, given that we were staying at a SpringHill Suites. If it was anything like the TownePlace suites we stayed in earlier, it’d have a kitchen, right? Wrong! We get here only to find a teeny tiny microfridge in the room. Ooops. Not to worry! If I microwave the pizza long enough, it’ll cook like an oven, right? Well, actually it kinda worked, but it was kind of humorous trying to shove an entire pizza into a microwave for 20+ minutes of cooking. The whole floor smells like pizza now and I know they’re jealous bc it was actually really fantastic pizza.

To avoid the crowds, we’re waking up super early to get to Yosemite before the daily mass of 20,000 people descends upon Yosemite Valley. Wish us luck! Please send calming “serenity now” thoughts our way, otherwise, I might go Jersey on some poor, unsuspecting “touron”. (Jk, that’s why I’m having JD drive).

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All trip long, JD has been commenting “wouldn’t the stars be so great in Death Valley”? After looking at the map and the many, many miles required to get there, I dismissed the idea somewhat. Just out of curiosity, however, we decided to ask some of the park rangers we were meeting along the way if DV was worth it, and was it safe in the summer. The answers were “absolutely” and “yes, if you come prepared”, respectively. We figured it was just crazy enough and the closest we’d ever be; why not?!

The day started with a 4-hour drive from Bakersfield, CA to DeVa (as they call it). We passed many tiny towns that still required you to slow to 25 (everywhere else, we didn’t see a speed limit posted), and a large naval weapons base. Upon arrival, we wanted our picture next to the park sign – hello HEAT! It hits you like a slap in the face and is so oppressive…more on that thought later…

At over 3 million acres, DV is the largest National Park in the lower 48. Thus, driving distances within the park are pretty far. I think it was almost 30 miles until we reached the ranger station where we had to show my universal park pass and get our map. From there, we saw the Mesquite Sand Dunes, which are surprisingly, a rarity in DV. They are about 100 feet tall and look like they are straight out of the Sahara Desert. Very coo, except for the warnings about the sidewinder rattlesnakes that call these dunes home. JD wanted to venture out to the tallest dune, but it turns out that the heat plays tricks on you; that would have been a two mile trek each way through sand in 115-degree heat. We thought better of it, and drove on.

Next up, Devil’s Golf Course. Driving along the main highway, it didn’t look like much of a pull-off, but after bumping along the dirt road for 2-miles, we were rewarded with really cool dried out blobs of mud with salt crystals all over the top. The terrain is so tough that “only the Devil himself would play golf out here”, hence the name. It’s actually dangerous to walk through, because the salt crystals are SHARP and you can cut yourself or trip and break an ankle. We then drove on to Harmony Borax works; not too much to see there, but we learned a bit about how they used to mine Borax from DV. 20-mule team (most famous Borax brand out there) also called DV home and got their name from the 20 mule teams that pulled up to 60 TONS of cargo out of the valley all year, except summer.

The road then took us to Badwater, the lowest point in North America and home to the famous salt flats. There actually is a standing pool of water by the side of the road there, but bc of its high saline content, prospectors’ horses wouldn’t drink it, hence the name badwater. It had actually rained in DV over the past weekend, so the salt was soft enough to write your name in. The salt flats are formed by an underwater aquifer fed by the HUGE surrounding mountains (you thought DV was flat? Ha! Telescope peak, right across from the lowest point is 11,000 feet). The flats are 5 miles across and you can walk as far out as you like. I made it only a little bit before feeling overwhelmed by the heat. JD offered to carry me back to the car, but we made it! (low point of the day – heat-1: audrey-0.)

We then drove over to Artist’s Palette and Zabriske point for a beautiful sunset. You wouldn’t believe the colors in DV. (And you probably thought it was white/yellow?) The colors are almost like the grand canyon. Reds, yellows, purples and greens. It’s amazing: all a result of the mineral deposits. I’ll let JD’s pictures of the sunset do the talking on the point.

We were now faced with a challenge. Where to stay? Even though it’s low season, there was not a room to be had in the park. Our options were camping (night time low of 86) or driving 2+ hours to the west side of the park to stay in a run-down motel for $100 a night. Frugality won out, as well as JD’s desire to see the stars at night, so we pulled over to camp at Emmigrant Pass. Yes, the stars were AMAZING. Knowing that most critters in the park (namely rats, scorpions, black widows, rattlesnakes and coyotes) are nocturnal had us not too keen on sleeping in our tent on the ground, so instead we cleared out the back of our Ford Escape, collapsed the back seats and made a makeshift bed out of our sleeping bags (you wouldn’t dare want to curl up inside of it) and inflatable pool floats. Not to dwell on it, but it was one of the worst night’s sleep we’ve ever had. Oh well, waking up to sunrise in the park made up for it and nothing a little coffee couldn’t fix once we hit the road.

Back to the heat. How to describe it? Imagine a sauna cranked all the way up (we hit 122 today) and a hot wind in your face making it hard to breathe. It’s so hot that you don’t even sweat when you’re outside bc it’s evaporating so fast. The minute you sit down in the car, however, you start to sweat buckets. We brought nearly 3 gallons of water for the two of us and nearly drank it all; the amazing part is, we did not have to go to the bathroom but once. When they say “bring lots of water” they aren’t kidding! All in all, DV was so above and beyond expectations. Despite all the discomfort, we’re so glad we went and hope to return again sometime, as there is so much to see in the park. What a pleasant surprise!.

PS – google “Scotty’s Castle” – it’s quite a hilarious story about a hoax of a prospector who claimed to have built this nice house in the middle of the desert from his gold findings. Ha!

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